By the riverside...

The first few lines in the movie V for Vendetta go something like this:

"Remember, remember, the Fifth of November, the Gunpowder Treason and Plot. I know of no reason why the Gunpowder Treason should ever be forgot... But what of the man? I know his name was Guy Fawkes and I know, in 1605, he attempted to blow up the Houses of Parliament. But who was he really? What was he like? We are told to remember the idea, not the man, because a man can fail. He can be caught, he can be killed and forgotten, but 400 years later, an idea can still change the world. I've witnessed first hand the power of ideas, I've seen people kill in the name of them, and die defending them... but you cannot kiss an idea, cannot touch it, or hold it... ideas do not bleed, they do not feel pain, they do not love... And it is not an idea that I miss, it is a man... A man that made me remember the Fifth of November. A man that I will never forget."

Yesterday, I sat quietly by the chilly waterfront of River Schuylkill staring at the lights that did their little dance and at the concrete that rose sharply into the sky. There it was, my favorite bridge, the poor, hagged one heaving its last sighs before it collapsed any second; there is something so morose yet beautiful about that bridge as it rises above the dark waters and starkly contrasts the grandeur of the 30th Street Station. Yup, sometimes sad is beautiful.

There must have been many people who crossed the same bridge and sat where I did, who felt and absorbed all that I did. So many people of different colors, religions, races, ages over the course of so many decades. And they all just perished. Yet, the buildings remain standing, the bridge, the concrete...The river remains but the waters keep flowing...Ideas remain but their torchbearers keep changing...

Too much free time on my hands

All I can think of right now is the hot afternoons in a clammed, yellow school bus where a very dear friend of mine, and I used to yap non-stop for about an hour each day. Ayn Rand, Richard Bach, ideas, careers, jokes from Readers Digest, music and god knows what else... It did not matter that we were all of 15 years old, that horns used to blare perpetually and that our lungs were dying a slow, painful death in Delhi's atrocious traffic. We talked and giggled, just like that.

I clearly remember her bobbing head, "hyrda-like" hair (she was a Bio geek, and that was her joke btw) and mischievous grin as she casually quoted Eleanor Roosevelt, "Great minds talk about ideas, average minds talk about events, and small minds talk about people." Oh yeah! And then we grinned thinking how great we were (haha). She chose to pursue medecine and I'm more than certain that she will make one of the finest doctors that the world has ever seen, seriously.

I can't help but think and reflect on that quote today. How much time do we spend trying to smoothen the knots in our relationships? Talking and thinking about fleeting emotions and people? And yet, that is what makes us feel real and human, right? But is it worth it? Maybe not, coz these complications are mental speed brakers that prevent one from accelerating, from contributing to the world wholeheartedly. But can every road always be smooth? And can and should one stop flying coz of the fear of the fall? Geez, I have too much free time on my hands :)

August 10, 2006

I was at the Wilmington train station in the state of DELAWARE for God's sake and there was an insane amount of security with sniff dogs nd stuff.

Clueless as always, I was sleeping with my head on the laptop bag waiting to be picked up for office. First, a police officer approached me and asked if everything was all right, which I thought was sweet yet strange coz I doze off sitting in the train station all the time (Hey, I am not a bum! :). It was just too darn early in the morning!) So I beamed a reassuring smile at him, letting him know that I was not dying and went back to sleep promptly.

A few minutes later, another officer woke me up but this time I was quite annoyed. Thoughts like, "I will do what I want, this is a free country. For all you care, I will sit in the station all day long and sleep, what is your frikkin problem?!" were going through my head. He looked quite tense and asked what I was doing in the station, giving my laptop case a wary look. "What do you think people do in train stations?" would have been my usual answer, but instincts told me otherwise; I gave him a straight answer and he relaxed a bit. During the short, awkward silence that ensued, I mustered the courage to casually ask him what was going on. As one of the female species of the human race, it is quite strenuous to stay quiet for too long.

"A plan to mass murder-- by blowing 10 flights leaving London Heathrow-- has been foiled and 21 arrests have been made within England yesterday. President Bush has put the country on high alert and no passenger is being allowed to carry hand bags aboard. I am not sure if you are aware, Ma'am, but 8 Egyptian students have gone missing in Kansas yesterday and this comes soon after Al-Qaeda's declaration that their Egyptian brothers have joined them." I was in a state of shock. Like seriously? I felt fear after a long, long time. I was witnessing the global and omnipresent repercussions of terrorism first hand, for the first time outside of newspapers, that too in a small city in one of the smallest states of the US. I felt vulnerable and tiny in front of an invincible monster who, according to hear say lived in the vicinity, but seemed like a legend nevertheless. But now I had spotted its footprint for the first time in my back yard.

The irony of my immediate reaction is that nothing really had happened. And the pity is that had the carnage taken place, my reaction might not have been this severe. In some warped way, I would have been more at ease with the familiar feeling of numbness that comes while skimming over numbers on paper-- gas prices, stocks quotes, number of people killed. That's all they are, everyday numbers, aren't they?

In retrospect, I am not sure what prompted him to talk further, specially knowing now what he was going to say. His expression became grave as he continued, "It is Muslims against the rest of the world these days, just like the Crusades in the 13th and the 14th century. The bible also says that Crusades will happen again and this seems like the time." He paused for a brief second, studied my poker-faced look and continued, "You know, one should trust NO ONE during war, and yes, this is war. No, not even women or children." And he pointed at me after saying 'women'. I could have gotten angry, but I knew better than that now (ever since I heard of an incident in which someone was arrested for joking about carrying explosives in an airport). So just to keep a "good-natured conversation" going, and out of genuine child-like curiosity, I asked him if he had ever been in a war. Of course, he had! But his tone became mellow as he explained further, "Yes Ma'am, I was the captain of a unit in Vietnam War. And I had to ask my troops to open fire at the enemy, the youngest of whom was 12 and the oldest was 17. I prayed and prayed, but had to do what I did. Those kids returned fire for 2 godawful hours." Geez. I was left speechless. "Anyway Ma'am, you have a good trip. It was a pleasure talking to you". He gave me a huge, friendly smile, kissed my hand and walked off. Stunned by our conversation and his sudden willingness to trust me for no real reason, I sat in the station quietly waiting to be picked up for office...

"Be the change you wish to see in this world"

"Be the Change you wish to see in this world" - Gandhi

The purpose of this entry is not to discuss Gandhi, who may or may not be a controversial figure. This post is about the quote which is so simple that ironically, we miss its message.

One of my friends said, "I am tired of being taken for granted by the whole world". But sweetheart, did you ever think that you yourself could be taking life for granted? That you may not be appreciating this life and the world enough? Be the change you wish to see in this world...

Along the same lines, we condemn the entire world for harboring hatred, waging wars etc. day in and day out. But when people like us who are privileged in many aspects can hold grudges and hate for no 'real' reason (and I include myself in there), then those who do pick up arms and become terrorists are almost justified-- coz they have real grievances. I am not in favor of taking human life under any circumstance; all I am saying is that if we consider terrorism wrong, then we, as privileged and educated people do not have any reason to hold grudges. Life is too short and there is too much love to spread, there are too many things to change (however sappy that sounds). Be the change that you wish to see in this world...

What if...

What would you do if you were a Tamil in Jaffna, Sri Lanka in the 1980s when 200-300 thousand Tamils were massacred by the Sinhalese Govt. ? What would you do if you were a Kashmiri who could not give a damn whether his land goes to India or Pakistan, but just wants to live freely and peacefully? Wants to love, be loved, go to work normally and take his kids on a 'Shikara'... What would you do if you were one of those on the execution list after the Revolution in Cuba and Iran? What if you were a dark-skinned Sudanese being hunted by the Janjaweed for the sake of ethnic cleansing? What if you you were born in Rwanda? Ahhh! What would you do...?????

A) Flight-- If possible, flee abroad and start over again (For ex, doctors take up jobs as sweepers, cleaners, domestic help etc. and SO MANY of these refugees are mistreated again by the new locals)
B) Fight-- Pick up arms... but eventually these rebels acquire the characteristics of the oppressors themselves (eg. LTTE, the Fidel Castro/Che Guevara regime)... I always get haunted by the phrase "You become what you chase"
C) Freeze-- Await the consequences, and in the meantime, escape inwardly

Whhhyyyy??????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What would you do? For God's sake, we must do something... We MUST...

bizarre umm... 'truths'

I love reading and could not survive without it. The other day, I was walking with a friend who (like a lot of people I know) believed that reading novels was a waste of precious time. Pray, what is life without beauty?! More importantly,
"What we search for in fiction is not reality, but the epiphany of truth", something that I read in 'Reading Lolita in Tehran' by Azar Nafisi. What a concise way of expressing all that I was trying to say!

Ever wondered what the "truth" is? Why do we seek it? Why should we seek it? Or not seek it. Gandhi believed in Truth. India's emblem says "Satyamev Jayate" (Only Truth Triumphs). What the bloody hell is the truth? Haha... I just remembered a joke :) Anyone who has watched or read A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy would know what i mean... some random dude asks, "What is the meaning of life?". The know-it-all 'computer' answers '42'. Hahahahaha!

Hmmm...maybe, just maybe, it is not the best of ideas to laugh so hard when the next hour promises to be the most crucial in the entire summer. Coz I have EXACTLY 36 minutes to go before I present the fruit of my blood, tears and sweat (read: the internship project that I worked on sitting in an air-conditioned office) to the BIG boss. Now 27 min...

You know, timing of jokes is a VERY important social etiquette, or romantic one for that matter. As in NEVER, and I mean NEVER crack a joke while trying to ask someone out. Just KISS (Keep It Simple Stupid) ;) . Or for that matter, when the interviewer interrogating you is dressed all in black and white, and you walk in looking like a punk wearing casuals and BOOTS. It really is not the best of ideas. 22 min...
That's all the knowledge that I will disseminate for the moment. Will be BACH (in my dreams) soon. Told you, lame jokes are tragic ;)

Entering the Blogosphere

Can't believe I just created a blog! I always knew humans were a strange lot, and they behaved even more strangely under the influence of alcohol, boredom and other things that we will not go into; so I created a blog ... coz I am tired and bored of stalking people endlessly on orkut and facebook :) And maybe coz I miss writing... A LOT!!